How to Bathe Your Elderly Parents

As your mom or dad ages, they start to need more help. This might include daily tasks like showering and bathing that they can no longer complete independently. This role may transition slowly for safety reasons or quickly after a bad fall and injury. It can be uncomfortable at first, but there are tools to help as you become responsible for the bathing process.

Questions You Might Have

Why doesn’t my parent shower as often?
Why does my dad refuse to shower?
Why doesn’t my mom care about her appearance anymore?

Five Possible Answers

• Control: As your parents age, they begin to lose control over many aspects of their lives. But deciding to shower is one choice that they feel is theirs
• Fear: Many elderly people are afraid of falling in the shower and getting hurt. This might stop them from bathing at all
• Sense of smell: As you age, your sense of smell dulls. Your mom or dad might not smell an odor and realize that it's time to shower
• Memory: Seniors can lose track of what day it is and how long its been since their last bath
• Depression: A lack in interest in personal hygiene might be due to depression. Checking in with a doctor is a good idea

Getting Started

Try to maintain a routine, if possible follow their old schedule. For example, if your dad always took showers at night help him do that now. Set everything up and gather your tools before you begin. Then, take your parents lead on how much help to offer and what to let them do on their own. A long handled sponge lets them wash their own feet without bending over.

Remember to stay calm, pushing or nagging too much may cause your parent to resist even more. You might want to invest in a small heater to keep the bathroom warm, making getting in and out of the tub more comfortable. Be sure to keep the area around the tub dry to help prevent falls. Grab bars and a non-slip mat can also offer extra safety.

During the Bathing Process

Test the water temperature before having your parent get into the bath or shower. Respect their privacy, allow your mom or dad to wear a plastic apron or towel in the shower and only uncover areas when you’re cleaning. You can use a bath visor to keep soap from getting in their eyes and a handheld shower sprayer to make rinsing easier.

A shower chair can help your loved one feel secure while bathing. It’s often easier for seniors to sit during a shower. If your parent prefers a bath, you can use a bath lift to make getting in and out of the tub easier for them and save your own back from lifting pain.

If your parent is bed bound, you’ll need alternatives to a shower. Sponge bathing is most often used (you can use a sponge or a washcloth). Fill two basins, one with warm soapy water for washing and one with plain warm water for rinsing. Use a new washcloth for different areas. Remove clothes, wash and dry the area, and re-dress in sections to prevent your parent from getting cold. You can also apply lotion to dry skin as you go. An inflatable shampoo basin lets you wash your mom or dad’s hair while they lie in bed.

If they refuse to take a bath or shower...

Stay calm and try to be patient. Accept that your parent might only bathe once or twice a week. Maybe it’s a lengthy process where you wash her hair one day and her body the next. Compromise is important. Arguing over cleanliness doesn’t help anyone. For in-between days, a dry shampoo or shampoo cap and rinse-free bathing cloths can be used.

Learning to bathe your elderly parents is a learning process for everyone. Following the tips above and being understanding can make it an easier experience for you and your loved one.

Medical Disclaimer: The information provided on this site, including text, graphics, images and other material, are for informational purposes only and are not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other healthcare professional with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition.